The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Before I watch this again at Jon’s request, I will tell you what I think I know and/or remember about this movie. I see on Letterboxd that I have given it 3 stars. That makes sense because what I remember is there are 2 movies here. One that is, like, 4.5-star rated and stars Meryl Streep and Emily Blunt and another movie is, like, 1.5-star-rated and stars Anne Hathaway and that guy from Entourage. The movie that actually exists and is right in the middle with an average of 3 stars stars Stanley Tucci doing what he often does by being the bridge between an awful movie he should not be in and the one he is actually in and which he is holding together.*

Anyway what I remember is that for no reason whatsoever** Anne Hathaway’s character is the protagonist when clearly Emily Blunt’s character is by far the only one worth making a movie about. 

Anne Hathaway is every child I work with who just complains about how hard life is. She sucks. Where did she think she was moving to? What did she expect? The only person who is less sympathetic (by way of being even more pathetic*** than she is) is her boyfriend from Entourage. 

Anyway, since the should-be protagonist Emily Blunt is relegated to supporting character, this leaves us with one main character to side with: the Devil. 

Kudos to Meryl Streep for a wonderful performance but I think I’d have rooted for her character over Anne Hathaway’s even if she had been played by Jeff Bridges talking like he did in The Vanishing. 

Now I will go and watch this movie again and see if time has been kinder to my appreciation of this film. (cue Jon laugh. There is no way.) BRB 

*with the exception of The Lovely Bones where he followed Jeff Bridges’ Vanishing example and decided if he had to get paid to be a creepy kidnapper/murderer he’d make sure no one ever gave him any awards for it and was the worst 

**well for one reason: this annoying woman wrote the book about herself and probably hates the real Emily Blunt character for always and forever being better than she is (speculating here) 

***the one scene I remember the most from this movie, no joke, is when this adult male becomes so, so sad because his girlfriend missed his b-b-b-birthday party. It is so absurd, he is a child, and he is one of my least favorite characters ever (beaten only possibly by every single character on Entourage)

This is all for Jon and I’m watching, typing on my phone, and drinking some wine. If you are anyone but Jon who improbably stumbled here you probably wanna leave this is gonna be boring. Also I am not gonna fix all the typos so figure it out! 

***

The first shot of this movie is Andi brushing her teeth. It is stupid. The next 50+ shots are of women getting dressed and going about their morning rituals. A lot of close ups and such. It is a boring montage and seems kind of pervy. Andi eats a bagel while walking on the busy New York street which is annoying. She then arrives at the office and reads the name of the person she’s meeting with off of a card in her pocket. This is supposed to be some kind of character development but as I have outline in my summary her character is the second worse character in this movie. It is infuriating that this is supposed to seem laid back and cool or whatever when it is clearly just lazy for the sake of being different. 

Emily Blunt appears and for a few moments breathes life into this movie and then she gets a phone call and Miranda is on her way and everyone in the office freaks out. She shows up and interviews Andi herself and dismissed her with a wonderful Meryl hand wave and Andi mopes off but then for some inexplicable reason Emily comes down in the lobby and rolls her eyes and tells Andi to come back up. She got the job. 

I think Emily Blunt is good in everything but maybe she’s extra good in this because she actually feels this way about Anne Hathaway. Maybe you are right and I do hate her. I don’t think so but she is so bad in this. 

She celebrates with dinner with her friends who are so boring and lame but act like they are cool and the editing is horrible and it is my least favorite scene in a long time. Some dialogue:

Male friend: You work for Miranda Priestley?

Female friend: How do you know who she is?

Male friend: Because I’m a girl. 

Male friend: lucky for me I already have my dream job.

Female friend: You’re a corporate research analyst. 

Male friend: oh you’re right my job sucks. 

😡🤯😐

Andi goes to work the next day and has to be there early and has to get coffees and is late and acts like a total fuckikg incompetent spaz even though she says she is so smart and a quick learner. She also acts like an asshole about clothes and is wearing the heinous famous blue (cerulean) sweater. She also takes a message from a caller for Miranda and then says “how do you spell Gabbana?” She’s such an asshole. Then she goes to eat lunch in the cafeteria and eats corn chowder and eats it while she is in line to pay (this consistent eating while walking makes her more of an asshole). She spills corn chowder on her hideous cerulean sweater and Stanley Tucci says “I’m sure you have plenty more polyblend where that came from.”

She and Stanley go up for a meeting with Miranda and Andi is an asshole and laughs while they are picking out outfits, and Miranda hears her and burns her good, calling out the cerulean “lumpy blue sweater” from “some tragic Casual Corner where you no doubt fished it out of some clearance bin” and telling her she is an idiot and an asshole basically . Look I don’t obsess over fashion or whatever but it’s hard to not be impressed by how knowledgeable these people are. Meryl Streep is really great. 

Instead of showing even a second of a reaction shot or even a blank stare to allow some introspection or consideration on the part of this character,  they cut directly to her in her apartment bitching to Vince about it and telling her sad story. This is why I hate this movie. While she bitches Vince makes grilled cheeses and talks about it being made of “$6 worth of Jarlsberg” cheese.  This is another reason why I hate this movie. 

Montage time!  Miranda being a tyrant and Andi being a confused and pathetic but somehow still self righteous spaz. I hate this part too. Even Meryl kind of suffers here with the crappy direction and editing. Emily gets one moment of bitchiness. At the end of the montage, Andi has *got this*

Her dad comes to town and they go have a fancy dinner. Her dad is Kevin Costner’s brother from American Flyers!  He points out that she got accepted to Stanford Law and she is too good for this job! (I hate the woman that wrote this book)

Her fancy dinner is ruined when Miranda needs her to find her a flight home from Miami in a hurricane. There is chaotic 80s drum synth movie music while she tries to find a flight but she fails. 

Cut to: Miranda telling her why she hired her and how disappointed in her she is and Andi cries and sad 80s piano movie music and she does to cry to Stanley and he tells her to quit. And she stutters and says Wh wh wh what? That’s not fair. Stanley rightly points out she is whining. 

She says that he is right and she just wishes she knew what to do make her .... 

She looks at Stanley and he says “no don’t even....” 

Cue light airy synth 80s movie music while Stanley takes her shopping for stylish clothes that Miranda will like. 

Cut to Emily talking shit about her and saying “I just knew from the moment I saw her she was going to be a complete and utter dis.ast......”

Cut to Andi walking in slo mo and looking ridiculous. 

But for real there are three scenes that end with people not completing a sentence in the most predictable fashion. 

Cut to: Vince getting off work. Andi leaning on a car in her new look waiting for him. Again the most predictable thing. Not predictable? Cue: Vogue by Madonna from 1989. Vince is wowed. 

Andi: “what do you think?”

Vince: “I think we better get out of here before my girlfriend sees me”

Vogue montage!  Andi walking the streets of New York wearing fashionable (?) clothes and hates and doing difficult things like answering her cell phone while she walks. 

The montage ends with Miranda smiling at Andi’s outfit. 

Cut to: bar scene with the group of 4 friends. Belle and Sebastian is playing in the background. 

These fucking people. I’m pausing to transcribe it. 

Andi gives female friend a new Marc Jacobs bag and female friend freaks out. 

Vince: why do women need so many bags? You have one, you put all your junk in it and your done

Male friend: fashion is not about utility. An accessory is merely a piece of iconography used to express individual identity. 

While they are talking Miranda calls and her friends and Vince play keep away with her phone and she gets very irritated and for once I am all on Andis side here. That is so shitty. After she answer her friends all giggle and Vince says “shhh!” Like I said. Andi is my second least favorite person. 

Andi goes to a fancy party. She is out of place but making it work as best she can and this may be peak Andi. 

The Mentalist just walked up to her wearing a knit scarf indoors and introduced himself. His name is Christian Thompson and Andi says “you’re kidding! I reviewed your collection of essays for my college newspaper!” Peak Andi did not last long.

She tells the Mentalist she’d like to work at The New Yorker or Vanity Fair and he says send me your stuff and I will read it! But then Miranda comes up and the convo goes south for no reason but manufactured drama because you know the Mentalist did not just take one scene in this movie in a knit scarf indoors. 

Fashion things happening. A “Preview” Stanley narrates for Andi and the audience what this is about. It doesn’t matter. It is about Meryl acting with face only for a few minutes. She doesn’t like what she sees. 

This is maybe my favorite Fashionable Andi outfit so far. It is sort of nerdy and old lady but also fashionable so finally fits this character. IMHO. Who am I, Miranda Priestley?!

Afterward Andi asks Stanley “because she pursed her lips, he’s gonna change his entire collection?” And Stanley speaking for all of us says “you still don’t get it do you?” Seriously 

Andi brags to Emily about how good she’s doing and Emily rolls her eyes some more. I think I’m on to something about Anne and Emily here. 

Emily gives her advice. When you go to Miranda’s house tonight be silent and invisible and leave The Book (it’s a thing that matters to Miranda that’s all I can bother to type) at her house. In and out. Spit spot! (I can’t wait for Emily to be Mary Poppins. I love Emily.) 

Andi goes to Miranda’s house but is not invisible and sees and talks to Miranda’s kids. There is 80s comic detective snooping guitar music. Then Andi is even less invisible and goes upstairs against Emily’s instructions. Uh oh. She sees Miranda arguing with her husband, and then Miranda sees Andi, and Meryl does some more top notch face acting and the tiniest most marvelous little double take.  This is a well done part of the movie where you feel the veil has been lifted on this woman and she is not happy about it, and it is all done in a matter of shots and with no words and I just thought I should let that be known. 

When Andi tells Emily what happened Emily is very flustered. Why didn’t Andi just do what Emily said?!  Emily is worried that if Andi gets fired, Emily won’t get to go to Fashion Week in Paris. All Emily cares about is Fashion Week in Paris? (Are you spoiled yet?!) 

Emily: you went upstairs?! You went upstairs. Why didn’t you just crawl in bed with her and ask for a bedtime story?

More Emily: that might jeopardize Paris for me, and if that happens I will search every Blimpie’s in the tri-state area until I track you down” 

Even the screenwriter likes Emily better. 

Miranda calls Andi into her office but she does not want to talk about last night. She wants to tell Andi that she wants the new Harry Potter book for her kids.  If I remember correctly this next segment is like a whole (very boring, Andi spazzing) adventure movie in and of itself, like Indiana Jones looking for the Arc or the Holy Grail because Miranda doesn’t mean the *latest* HP book she means the *NEW* one that isn’t out yet. I will type very little about this quest. It is (IIRC) totally stupid. and scored by heavy bass 80s 90s Seinfeld movie montage music. 

Oh this quest is where the Mentalist comes back. Andi calls him thinking he can help. 

Andi is feeling doomed so she calls Vince and whines and says i can’t find HP manuscript I’m gonna get fired so I’m just gonna quit. 

Vince says congrats you’re free! 

Then the Mentalist calls and says “I’m a miracle worker my publicist blah blah meet me at the St Regis” 

Cut to Andi delivering the unpublished HP manuscript to Miranda by the deadline. Miranda says “one copy what will my twins do with that?” And Andi says (hold please, rewinding)....

“Oh no I made two copies and had them covered reset and bound so they wouldn’t look like manuscripts this is an extra copy to have on file you know just in case”

holy shit when I rewound I see that I am only at minute 55. This is about to get less detailed. 

Vince comes home and says “I bought food to celebrate you quitting!!!!!!!” And then she says “I didn’t quit!” And he’s all WHATEVER. and she’s all COME OOOONN. “Same Andi. Better clothes.” 🙄

Andi: what about these clothes? What about this? Sexy lingerie reveal. Cue music: cover of Seal’s Crazy. Vince attacks Andi for sexy fun time.

 Cut to photo shoot montage and Andi and Stanley being good pals and having “girl talk” complaining about work v personal life

Cut to editorial meeting. Uh oh.  Emily’s coughing. 

“There’s a benefit tonight I’ve been looking forward to it for months.”  You mean, just like Paris? Spoiled yet? 

Andi: well enjoy the benefit. I have to go. It’s Vince’s birthday tonight? Bye! (Are you spoiled yet?)

Andi leaves. Andi’s phone rings. WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT IS GOING TO BE????

Emily is sick. Andi has to go to the benefit!!! Andi calls female friend “just start without me OK I will get there as soon as I can”

Female friend: “but it’s his birth.....!” (Eye roll)

BENEFIT MONTAGE!  2000s club music. Paparazzi. Click click flash flash. 

Wait, Emily’s here too!  Andi says “you look so thin”

Emily lights up! “do I?!?” “It’s a new diet. It’s very effective. Well I don’t eat anything. And when I feel like I’m going to faint I eat a cube of cheese.”

Emily😍

Some French lady is at this party that Miranda hates. She looks like Pat Benatar and Pepe Le Peu. 

Emily is supposed to tell Miranda who people are, like Gary to Veep. But she forgets someone!! And Andi steps up and whispers it to Miranda. And Andi smiles in slow motion. Then she runs to leave to get to Vince’s sad sack bday party. But she runs into the Mentalist! And he says come meet my publisher! And she says I can’t I have to meet my boyfriend. Cue Friday Night Lights strumming music. She gets to the apartment. The music slows down. Vince is on the couch she whispers “happy birthday” and “I’m sorry” and thI grown man gets up from the couch and says “don’t worry about it I’m going to bed” 

There should be more on this, if it really mattered. But it doesn’t. So....

Cut to: Andi going to Miranda’s apartment in a Judy Maxwell hat. And a hideous Chanel pearl necklace that belong on a Maester in Westeros. Miranda invites Andi to ..... 

.....

......

.....

PARIS!  (Had you guessed yet?)

Montage! Sad Andi in a Judy Maxwell hat and Coco Chanel Westeros Maester pearl chain necklace wandering the streets of Manhattan to 2000 soft voiced girl music. 

Vince asks Andi at the end of the montage: are you coming to bed?  Like I said that fight did not matter. 

Cut to: office. Miranda tells Andi to tell Emily that she can’t go to Paris because Andi is going instead. 

All of the sudden Emily has turned into the spaz and while walking and talking on her cell phone in Manhattan is hit by a taxi and ends up in the hospital. Which we’ve cut to and there is Andi telling Emily about Paris while she’s in a hospital bed with a broken leg. And eating! Hospital food! LOL!!

Cut to: art gallery. Female friend is a .... curator? Artist? Docent? IDK but everyone is so proud of her. 

The Mentalist is at the art gallery!

His highlights are insane. 

The Mentalist: I’m staying at a fantastic little hotel. Right across the street from a falafel restaurant that will change your life. 

Female friend saw Andi talking to the Mentalist and is PISSED, gurl. 

Female friend: you know? The Andi I know? Is madly in love with Vince. And is always 5 minutes early. And thinks that Club Monaco is couture. For the last 16 years I’ve known everything about that Andi. But this person? This glamazon that skulls around in corners and with some random hot fashion guy? I don’t get her. Have fun in Paris?

Enter Vince. Vince: You’re going to Paris? I thought Paris was a big deal for Emily. 

Andi: you’re gonna give me hard time too? 

They have a fight and it’s not worth talking about except to say that this moment is peak Vince. 

Miranda calls and Andi answers and Vince walks off saying “the person whose calls you always take? That’s the person you’re in a relationship with”. Peak Vince also did not last long. Come on! The person whose calls you take is just the person who pays your phone bill, bro!

PARIS MONTAGE. snap snap flash flash French accent oui oui. “This is my new Emily” flash flash snap snap. 

The Mentalist is in Paris? “You owe me for Harry Potter. Oh There is the problem of le boyfriend” 

Non monsieur!